Iambic Pentameter always calms me down.

You never know how my heart breaks for you

Your feelings and my feelings are the same

I hate to watch these things we must go through

I hate the tears, the anger, and the blame

Remember you can always come to me

I'll never think your problems aren't real

I want to dry your tears and help you see

Your happiness is nobody's to steal

We can't be silent every day and then

Just leave ourselves bodiless on a screen

We need to talk, it doesn't matter when

At school or somewhere else, let's just come clean.

If all I have is words, I'm not much good

Talk to me, dears, I know you wish you could.

It's a kind of sweet sadness

Oh, you guys. The summer's almost over. I hate when summer's over. Last week I was kind of looking forward to school, and seeing you guys every day, well, except Laura and Lekey :'(

But now I'm realizing how much I'll miss doing nothing all day, and sleeping forever, and staying up late drawing and reading, oh I'll miss all of it. The cicadas want me to stay free with them forever but I can't do it.

I want to lay under the stars and recognize the Dolphin and the Swan and Draco and the Eagle like we did in Quebec. I want to jump in Woodward Reservoir and explore little stores like I did in Vermont. I want to dance by the Pacific Ocean and watch rocks float like I did in Oregon. I want to hear people sleep-talk like I did in North Carolina. And I want to stay up late being crazy with my friends like I did in Kentucky.

But I think this year will be a good year. I have a feeling about it. January 1 is not when my new year starts, no, it's August 11. And I want to be different. I don't want to retreat into my hair when things go wrong, I want to fix them. I don't want to move through school in my own entranced mind, I want to be present. And I don't want to let any of you get away from me like you did last year.

I am wildly tired right now, so I'll conclude.

Be with me, be in the moment, be human, be kind.

I love you.

The Farewell Post

I have nothing to say.

Maybe it's better that way. I don't seem to have the ability to cheer people up these days.

Maybe...

Maybe I should quit posting for a while.

I know it seems ridiculous, but what's the use? Why should we have to post on a blog to talk to each other? 

So I'm going to try this, and if I seriously need to post something I can't talk about, I will. But really. If we can share with God and everyone, why can't we share with each other? The only real use this should be is for drafts. So we can share stuff we don't want to talk about at school, which seems to be the only place we see each other any more. 

So, I'm quitting the blog for a while. Good luck with your religious issues. I don't know if I'll still read the blog. Maybe not, so that you guys have to talk to me. But anyways, I hope you can make your moms see the light. (Haha, cuz we're Quakers, and the light... Ok so maybe only Lekey will get it...)

Bye.

I'm sorry. I say  that a lot, don't I. It's because nobody else really does, I guess. 

Maybe I get it from Tim. 

I love you all, but this is getting on my nerves.

I want you.

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

Indigo Girls, Forgive Me

I'm sorry I can't express facial expressions over the internet, but if I could, you'd see sadness, mixed with anger, betrayal, and... sympathy. Since we seem to be in a list-making mood, I guess I'll try my hand.

1. Me and Laura philosophized today in Science that NONE OF OUR LIVES CAN BE PERFECT UNLESS ALL OF OUR LIVES ARE PERFECT. Current example: Hannah is chronically sad. So even those of us who seem happy can't be happy because one of us is sad. Does that make sense?

2. Lekey knows this too: this is the time of our lives when we belong to ourself and our friends. We don't want to belong to our parents anymore, but (don't contradict me) we aren't quite ready to belong to a husband. Heather, shut up.

3. The less I seek my source, the closer I am to fine. This is from and Indigo Girls song. I just listened to two of their songs, and their power overwhelms me. I'll put some lyrics here:

From Closer to Fine
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all
Yeah

Well, darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety 'till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores
...
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine



Then there's this other song called "Galileo" which is about reencarnation, but I think some things apply to us too.

How long 'till my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light?
I call on the resting soul of galileo
King of night vision, king of insight


4. Hannah, DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE SCHOOLS.
I don't want to offend you more than I apparently already have, but I somehow don't think the people at Southern would accept you any better than the people here. Stick with the people that do accept you, because you need them.

5. On the subject of Terra's bitch-ness and Tory needing a slap across the face: Don't take out your negativity on people who don't deserve it. They're doing what they want to. Just because that doesn't include you, doesn't mean they personally hate you. If you were going out with someone, and there was this girl who was your friend's friend, and kind of your friend, and you knew she liked the person you were going out with, you certainly wouldn't make her any special provisions.

6. Terra has problems like you do, but kind of opposite. Whereas your problem is that you really like someone but they don't like you, Terra's is that she kind of likes a bunch of people and they kind of like her, but not enought either way to make either party happy. So take that into consideration.

7. Self-injury is not a healthy form of expressing your anger either. JSYK.

8. I didn't do a thing to your post. I just said I would. There's a difference.

9. Tags need commas in between them. JSYK.

Forgive me. I love you. I need you. I try my hardest. I love you.

Please, Sorry, Energy, I love you.

Heather, your song is beautiful. Does it have music? I like it. It honestly made me start tearing up. Of course that was helped along by Hannah's post.

Hannah, please don't call someone I love a bitch. I'm sure Lekey would agree with me. I can't really talk about it here, but please don't. PLEASE. I know I called someone else a bitch, but I knew none of you would really mind. Please don't get mad at me, but it really makes me uncomfortable when you call her that, or talk badly about her, because I wouldn't talk about your friends like that and I really wish you wouldn't. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way. I love you, I love her, I have problems when my friends don't like each other. Okay, I'm done with all my pleases. <3

I wish I could help all of us be happy. I know at least two of us are as happy as they can be, and some of us aren't. I really wish we all could be as happy as you guys. The rest of us need to be happy because they're happy. Remember that if it were the other way around, they would be happy for you. So be happy that they're happy, at least. Yes, I know I'm referring to Heather and Lekey as if I weren't happy. I'm not as happy as I could be, but it's getting there. Hannah, remember that not all relationships are beds of roses.

I hope my energy helped on Friday night. I tried my best to spread positive energy into you guys. I think it worked, unless it was just that romantic comedy vibe that cheered us all up. Maybe I'll explain more about the energy thing in person. It's kind of like Laura's aura thing. Teehee! Laura's auras! That should be a company. Like Taylor's Tailor, Hannah's Bananas, Heather's Feathers, Kaylyns, Mail-ins, and Lekey's.... um... Ecky-nomics? That's stretching it.... Hmmm....

I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains!

And remember, if they hurt you, they hurt me too. 'Cause it's all about us.

-Make sure you belong to yourself, because if you don't belong to yourself, how can you belong to anyone else?

I really am Laura's apprentice!