Jumpstart!

Hey guys, what's crackin?

Just thought I'd give this lil blog of ours a little push, since we all know that when you get on a blog where nobody's posted for a month you really don't feel like posting yourself. Got to break that cycle!

Oh my dears, we're growing apart. I suppose that's how it must be, though. We're growing up into our own selves. And none of us will ever forget anything.

So much to tell you all and I can't even begin.

This year is interesting. I've lost people and found people and felt betrayed by people only to love them again.

God I can't even write. Too much too much to say and I can't even say any of it. It's like when you're pouring the powdered milk and some comes out but then so much tries to come out from in the little hole that none comes out and you have to tip the box back and start again.

So, tipping the box back.

I've lost Heather. I've sort of lost Laura. Certainly I'm not as close to Hannah any more. Braden you're always there and Lekey I see when I can. I feel like I'm losing Terra for reasons I can't control. I've found and lost Maurice. I don't even know where Tim is in all this losing and finding but hopefully I can hold on to him. I've grown close to Madelyn although I am not so sure I can trust her. I never even saw Austin Lawson before this year. And all the Drama people I've found. Not to forget the strange relationship I now sort of have with Zack and Sebastian as Tim's friends. Everything changes!

All clogged up again.

Blog with me!

Iambic Pentameter always calms me down.

You never know how my heart breaks for you

Your feelings and my feelings are the same

I hate to watch these things we must go through

I hate the tears, the anger, and the blame

Remember you can always come to me

I'll never think your problems aren't real

I want to dry your tears and help you see

Your happiness is nobody's to steal

We can't be silent every day and then

Just leave ourselves bodiless on a screen

We need to talk, it doesn't matter when

At school or somewhere else, let's just come clean.

If all I have is words, I'm not much good

Talk to me, dears, I know you wish you could.

I am scattering like light

I am not ready for this again, not this soon in the year, not ever. I don't like it I don't like it.

I don't like him. But I could. I could if I let go a little longer. If I blamed this sweet euphoria on him. But now I won't. I won't.

It's been too long since I had a guy friend other than Braden, not that you are not the best male friend I could wish for, not that I need another one, but if that's how it's going to be, that's how it's going to be.

So that's how it is, yes? Well, I'm not going to let our friendship be screwed up again by a guy. I learned that lesson from Maurice. It turned out okay but I'm not taking a second chance. We don't have a good history with guys that more than one of us likes. I'll be his friend, nothing more, not even that if I have to, I'm not suspending you for him. Even if he was in the slightest bit interested in anything else. Who would be?

I'm just desperate, I know. I have been since late January. And I hate it yes I do but there's not much else I can do. So we'll be friends. I'm more outgoing, less silent and introverted around him. Every friend brings out something good in you, yes? And we'll be Foods buddies, at least until he switches out. Oh, mini mixers in backpacks. Oh, applesauce lady. Oh, an ounce of prevention.

Do what you will, I'll be behind you. I just didn't want to start another fiasco.

God! I don't want this!

Holy crap you guys WE'RE JUNIORS

It is rather difficult to get the idea that I am a junior through my head. Yet I am. By the way, did you notice there was no back to school pep rally today? I REALLY WANTED TO SHOUT E!!!!!

Yeah. So, I think we have a new friend. At least, he considers us his friends. I don't care whether you think he's attractive or not, he's super cool and fun to talk to. Mhmm.

Anyway. I really think this year is going to be good. Honest, I do. I'm excited for Foods, even if I don't really know anyone in that class who's going to stay in there. I WISH you guys could be in that class. It sounds AMAZING. And Mrs. Bingham seems really cool.

I love Mrs. McCay's new room, and Mrs. Robinson is well... Mrs. Robinson, and I think I'll end up one of the people who likes Mrs. Lambert, and I'm SUPER GLAD I have Art this year, and so far the only thing that's given me any trouble is my locker but THAT'S ALL BETTER so I'm happy!

I super super hope this year is as good as it seems like it'll be. The only thing that could get me down is a certain boy who constantly does so. I don't know about that yet. And the amount of sleep I'm currently getting and expect to continue getting. But I'll try, oh I will. I think I'm improving my people skills, for example, last year I probably would never have turned to a random new kid and said, "Hi, are you new? I'm Taylor."

I have high hopes for all of you. I love you.

Laura, I miss you. Come visit!

It's a kind of sweet sadness

Oh, you guys. The summer's almost over. I hate when summer's over. Last week I was kind of looking forward to school, and seeing you guys every day, well, except Laura and Lekey :'(

But now I'm realizing how much I'll miss doing nothing all day, and sleeping forever, and staying up late drawing and reading, oh I'll miss all of it. The cicadas want me to stay free with them forever but I can't do it.

I want to lay under the stars and recognize the Dolphin and the Swan and Draco and the Eagle like we did in Quebec. I want to jump in Woodward Reservoir and explore little stores like I did in Vermont. I want to dance by the Pacific Ocean and watch rocks float like I did in Oregon. I want to hear people sleep-talk like I did in North Carolina. And I want to stay up late being crazy with my friends like I did in Kentucky.

But I think this year will be a good year. I have a feeling about it. January 1 is not when my new year starts, no, it's August 11. And I want to be different. I don't want to retreat into my hair when things go wrong, I want to fix them. I don't want to move through school in my own entranced mind, I want to be present. And I don't want to let any of you get away from me like you did last year.

I am wildly tired right now, so I'll conclude.

Be with me, be in the moment, be human, be kind.

I love you.

Acid Plaid...

SO! I haven't posted for... almost two weeks.

You GUYS, we need to post more!!!!!

Anyway. So I had a lot of fun yesterday, drinking cold things, looking at hot guys in bands, playing Fur Elise at Blue Tail Fly, taking pictures with books, and hiding from Lekey. I suppose we are pretty easily entertained...

But yes. Today, Terra and I put some purpleness in my hairrrrr. It's not as noticeable as I would have liked, but it's real nice :) We went to this hippie store called Botany Bay. And Hobby Lobby.

So, I'm leaving on Tuesday, the 14th, and coming back on the 28th. I really don't want to be away that long, but hopefully I'll have internet for most of it. :)

~sigh~ I really don't want to leave. 

Laura, by the time I get back It'll be almost a month since I saw you, and the whole summer since I saw you at home. :( We HAVE to do something when I get back. 

Lekey: Gurrrllll I see you all the time. But now I'm not going to! :( I'll miss wandering around town with you and doing things that only we find amusing.

Hannah: Send me more fanfiction. I will read. Especially ones with adorable endings.

BraBra: You are so an article of female intimates! Um, but yeah. Have fun with yo online Monopoly.

Heather: Odviously you don't read teh blog. So nevermind.

Kaylyn: SAME DEAL MAN.

So I surpose that's about it. I'll send y'guys postcards. I think we're going to Mt. Rushmore....

so how are you all?

So today was really fun for me! I went to Lexington with my Cousin went to Hot Topic, got a MCR calender ~hugs calender that has Gerard's Sexy-ness on it~ and an totally Shiz-tastic L Shirt. And I learned that I love my cousin Ashley more than you all of you, because I WILLINGLY went with her to see Twilight. (there's something you all can hang over my head.) :D

But anyway on to a more serious matter, after I got home (about an hour ago.) I checked my e-mail (as I always do.) and I got a message from Shyla's mom, and Shyla's friend, (the one who blamed herself for shyla's death because she was the one driving the car the night it happened.)Killed herself this morning... So don't expect me to be in a particularly good mood on Monday.

And if you think this is bad for me, Just think about how Shyla's old Boyfriend feels, not only did he lose his girlfriend but he lost his closest friend, in the same F**king year too. I'm not saying you have to but it would be really nice of you all if you would leave a comment on his Gaia Profile He should be the first comment and if he isn't then his username is XoXThe EndXoX, tell that you're friends of mine.

A Loverly Listie-Pie

I don't know. I just don't know.
I wasn't going to post, because it doesn't seem right for me to be the first one to post about this situation, but as we learned from October Sky, "A rocket won't fly unless someone lights the fuse." So I guess I'd better light the fuse.

My feelings are as follows. (Another list.)

1. I understand Laura feeling resentful.
2. I understand Heather feeling like Laura should hate her.
3. I understand Laura not hating Heather, because you guys have been friends for a long time.
4. It all happened in the past. I find it ironic that nobody was mad until Heather told us about it. I mean, we can't change what happened in the past, but we can make our future better than our past. (fortune cookie moment!) You can sit there fretting about what you could have done differently, but you'd be better off changing the present.
5. I know the situation is different, what with you guys being friends and such close friends at that, but my one rule for Laura: Don't become a Chloe. As I know from experience, Heather already has enough guilt on her, and that will only be added to if you hate her, call her bad things (I know you wouldn't), avoid her, etc. The best thing you can do for either of your consciences is to forgive her. See number 4.
6. Laura needs to express her emotions more. You've got your auras, and I've got empathy. At least slightly. But empathy means you actually feel the subject's feelings. I'm pretty sure that's what happened at lunch. How is a person supposed to send positive energy when she feels sad enough to cry for a week?
7. I am Switzerland. I guess Switzerland is just neutral, probably not a peacemaker, so I guess I'm the UN. I'm the UN of the Phunk Sisters. Hooray. *sarcasm* Realy I just made this one because I wanted 7 items. 7 so it's odd for Laura, but 7 is the odd number that Heather likes, so it's perfect! Hey, the UN doesn't have it too bad off. They even have their own flag!

That's all I got. Don't you think Mrs. Graham has a really annoying voice?