This is how I fell in love with him.....musically!

It also doesn't hurt to say he's gorgeous! :D

This. Guy. Rocks!

Goodness!

This blog slipped my mind. I'm sorry!!!!!

Posting time.

Hannah....KURT! I love you! We should hang more this summer! I don't know if you're watching The Glee Project or not, but there's a really attractive, and really talented contestant named Cameron Mitchell! Beautiful....and a great singer!

Also.....LAURA......I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!

Taylor, I hope Vermont is the shiz!

Lekey.....I saw you!

Heather.......I saw you too a little bit ago too!

So....we need to like have a Mario Kart marathon and a Sailor Moon marathon......let's all watch Cameron and his Irish BFF Damian (who's dreamy) on The Glee Project!

I'm never going to be good enough.

For anyone.

Not for my mom. My dad. My family.

I feel as if I'm just slipping off of everyone's radar.

Hell, I'm slipping off my own radar.

I'm useless.

Pathetic.

Disgusting.

Never going to be good enough.

I want more than anything to be able to look in the mirror and see someone worthwhile. I'd fucking love that.

I fucking hate my life.

Hate it.

I'm finding it rather difficult to find reasons to stay alive at this point in my life.

???

Dear Hannah,

What is even going on? We're not friends on Facebook anymore and you haven't replied to my message asking the same thing. I don't want to assume anything so I'll leave it at that and wait for an answer.

I don't want to lose you again.

-Taylor

Well, things are changing. I'm looking at these posts and I can't believe how much we're changing. Maybe we're drifting apart. It's kinda inevitable. But hey, look back at how far we've come! How many leaps and bounds we've made as people. It's incredible really.

I've changed a lot. Mostly for the good. However, at the moment I'm suffering from the consequences of too much change... But that will pass and I'll be all the stronger for it.

That's kinda how things work though. Bad things happen, we learn from them and become better for it. I suppose that we learn well from the good things too though.

But still.

Hannah dear, you do whatever you have to do, okay? Go and discover the world, meet new people, and you'll find more and more of those people that really care and really love you. Go out and have fun, make mistakes, and discover who you are. I know you can and I know you will.

Just know you can always contact me, even 20-50 years in the future, if ou need me, Kay?

All of us are going to be out there too, ya know. In different places, difference colleges, different jobs. Who knows? It's pretty terrifying to think about... But at the same time, invigorating.

One more year, guys. Let's make it count.

Hope to see you all soon! And again many times in the future.

Lots of love,
Laura

Like, I said.

I'm growing up.

I'm finding out who I am.

And more importantly. I'm finding out who I want in my life.

And who I don't.

Which is why I'm thinking about changing schools.

I love Berea with all my heart. And for the most part. I love the people. But I need something new. Something different.

And as much as I love you guys

Well, nowadays, I'm not sure about my feelings toward some of you.

I need change. I'm stuck in a rut. And I need out.

So hopefully you'll be supportive of this decision.

-Hannah

Come to me. ;)

Hannah: If you actually come to school with me like we talked about I would be the happiest person in the world.

Moving on

I may not be returning to Berea Community for senior year.

GUESS WHAT.

WE'RE SENIORS.

and despite what some of us may think (taylor)

we will be just as amazing as the class of 2011

we're just as talented, smart, and unique.

our class is just different.

and that's what makes us amazing.

so there.

-Hannah

Hey moon, don't you go down.

We're growing up.

We're changing, and me especially.

This year has been a huge deal for me.

I've learned so much about myself.

I've learned who I am, and who I want to be.

Who my real friends are.

Who I should let go.

And you guys can tell me otherwise, but I know for a fact that we've grown apart.

We hang out with different people.

Friends come, and friends go. That's something I've always told myself.

You guys have stuck around with me longer than anyone has.

It hurts that we've grown apart.

But, I've learned that I don't need you guys to be happy.

That sounded bitchy-er than I had intended, but I didn't mean it that way.

I'm saying that I've learned to find happiness on my own.

And nowadays, with my family issues, school issues, and any other problems I have, I have some kind of hope that everything will turn out okay for me.

I've never known something like that before.

I've found self confidence. Or something close to that.

I'm starting to love myself. Finally.

There's nothing wrong with me, I've learned.

I've grown a lot as a person this year.

And I feel great.

We're going to be seniors next year.

It's a scary thought to me.

Graduating.

Leaving.

Starting again.

But at the same time, it's exciting.

After we graduate, we're not going to see each other that much, we're all going to go in different directions. We're going to meet new people.

We'll find new happiness.

New life.

A reason for being.

Like, I said earlier this year has been a huge deal to me, because honestly, up until these last month, I was miserable.

In fact.

April 2nd. I was going through a lot of shit. I told my parents that I had stopped believing in God. They didn't like it. Not at all. And even now they refuse to believe it. I was stressed because of school, it was awful. I was just really fucking depressed.

And I wanted it to end.

And I had planned on ending it.

April 2nd, 2011. I had every intention to end my life.

I made a post about it on tumblr. I didn't say anything specifically about killing myself. I just told them how depressed and stressed I was, and that I was just going to disappear for a while.

then I logged out. Of everything.

And I sat in my bed for about an hour, and cried. Thought everything over, and as I was about to end it, my phone started buzzing. It was Meghan.

I answered and she was freaking out.

And then everything snapped back into place for me.

I have people to live for.

I have people that love me.

What my parents think of me doesn't matter.

All that matters, is what I thought.

and that night.

I realized that I was a person that was worth while.

No matter what I've told myself in the past, or even what I tell myself now.

I'm worth while.

I'm loved.

People care.

And I saw how much people cared when I got back on tumblr and saw that I had over 60 messages from people I've never met telling me so.

Some were anonymous, others were not.

I know some of you get tired of hearing me talk about my friends on the internet.

But they honestly care about me.

And I love them just as much as I do you guys.

Now I'm losing sight of why I made this post to being with.

It was originally about us growing up. Moving on, and all that.

But now it's just me getting all this off my chest.

Yeah.

We've changed a lot. And there's only more change to come.

Alright.

I think I'm done now.

Damn this was a long post.

and I leave you with this:

Things have changed for me

but that's okay

I'm on my way and I say

Things have changed for me.

And that's okay.

"That Green Gentleman" by Panic! at the Disco

-Hannah

xo