September 27, 2009

Woke up at 1.
Made a bacon and cheese omelet.
Played around on the interweb until about 4.
Met Lekey at the Feather and had Ashley Mills come join us.
We all went to my house for pizza.
Went to The Gong Show, they came with.
Dropped them off.
Got on Facebook and uploaded pics from SAYF and today.
Read epistles from SAYMA, Nashville, and Old Greer (the one I should've gone to).
Now I'm typing to you all that I wish I went simply because I would've met Sam Fisher before SAYMA and saw Bonnie for the last time for a while.

Did you know that there is 19 days until Asheville? Oh my god! So exciting.
I hope for newbies, especially really hot gay 16 year olds!
LOLLERS!

Going to Meeting in the morning.
See you at school!
Bai!

Good things in life are hard to find

So....

This is going to be my last post for a little while. (Or a long while, who knows?)

I've realized that 97.9% of my posts are me just ranting about how much my life sucks, so when and if something good happens to me, I'll post again.

So until that day, this is farewell.

xo

-Hannah

Ugh!

What was up with that meeting today? It was like a big popular fest in there.

There were no sponsors in there at first, but our officers still should've called the meeting to order and started it anyway. That way we would've had more time to discuss our float.
Oh yeah, and our president wasn't present for our meeting.
Plus we're basically copying the seniors. The 70's is the first decade the school was open and the fact that the 60s and the 70s were probably the most similar decades in the past 50 years.
I am turned off from float building now.

Not that it wasn't my idea that wasn't picked or that I should've been president (at least I was there), but the fact that everything depends on the majority, which is fair, but it's the popular crowd getting all of the votes and I hardly had a chance to speak when I did because they kept referring back to Sahara. Same thing with Taylor and Heather. They ignored us.

I also loved how when they all heard about Fruitjar High School, they instantly thought of fruit in a jar (that proves how smart they are) and that's our float. They didn't look into it enough. Fruitjar High was the origin of our school and they were all too dumb to think about how much it would mean to everybody who comes back to Berea if we built a float that's a tribute to the original Berea Independent Schools. We would be highly respected by older generations.

God, I love our class, the minority at least.

Why?

I don't know why you're feeling that way. This was only one weekend, but at the same time, it's one weekend of only seven per year. I see you 5+ days a week. I see those people a whole lot less, so please don't get on to us for being gone this one weekend......

....and especially since Heather went too. You don't have to hate us all because we go to a Quaker retreat that only lasts for a weekend at a time (sadly) and it was also Heather's choice to go because she wanted the experience, not because we all don't care about you because we really do. It's as if you're letting the fact that we're all gone somewhere and you're not take over how you really think how we feel about you.

If you don't want to be alone, then you should come experience it with us. It'll make our friendship stronger instead of what we have crumbling to the ground.

Don't think SAYF as of just a big party where you're not invited.

Think SAYF as a retreat where we can get away from our bubble of nothing we call Berea, see people we haven't seen since at least the month before, do worshipful and very peaceful activities, and have fun with your friends.

We can have fun either way, but we still love you because you're our Hannah!

And what you are is beautiful

NononononNO!

Why does everything have to go wrong on the same day and why the FUCK can't I do anything about it!

Don't make me cry. Don't do it.

You think we don't care, when we just have no idea what to do?

You think we're choosing SAYF over you? I can't speak for everyone else, but honestly I'm only going to SAYF because I feel like it's expected of me.

I don't know what to say. I can't believe you could even imagine we don't care.

Not caring is the most frightening thing that has happened to me recently.

I don't know why, but on Sunday I was completely apathetic to everything. That's why none of you saw me that day. Because I didn't care.

Luckily I woke up on Monday caring. Then I discovered not caring is so much easier. But it's a human thing, to care. That's probably why life is hard: because we care.

Please don't accuse me of not caring. I don't want to go back there.

Do you really think you've never broken anyone's heart?

Whatever I did, I'm sorry. There's only one thing worse than someone you love being sad, and that is feeling like it's your fault.

I don't want anyone else to feel as isolated as I do sometimes. I don't ever want people I love to doubt that I do.

God, I really don't know what to do about this and I hate that.

Just remember this: There isn't a single one of you that I could live without.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder.

The only thing I hate more than people not caring is people faking sympathy.

I haven't been in the best shape lately, as you all can tell.

I'd tell you all about this weekend, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING BE HERE.

Just as well, I can't go anywhere anyway.

Next weekend I think I'll do something without you guys.

But you'll still have each other, It's obvious you can fun without me.

Sometimes I think you guys wouldn't even care if I just disappeared. Would you?

Another thing I hate: People who make up complete and utter BULL SHIT. Just to make themselves look better.

Which is one of the reasons I need to talk to you all, but again, you won't be here.

.....

There's a reason I always wear jackets, and not because I'm cold.

There's a reason I don't tell you guys anything anymore.

There's a reason why I can't trust anyone.

There's a reason for the tears in my heart, and it's not just Dylan's fault.

And several other things, but I'm tired and I'm going to take a shower now.

Bye.

- Hannah.

YAY!

All is good! No worries. SAYF will happen for me the rest of 2009. No games on October 16th or November 7th! YAY!

DAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT!!!

I seriously don't need any more shit thrown at me about this weekend because it's a hard enough decision to go or to not go. I see my parents' reasoning, but I'm not waiting 5 more weeks to go to Asheville. I'm going to Atlanta because Friday is NOT the only day we're gone. We'll be gone ALL WEEKEND and we'll leave 3 hours before the anthem even.
They see it as if it's just all about Friday. NO! It's not. It's SATURDAY and SUNDAY too! GOD!

Today!

Today was okay. There was a decent amount of work and lunch was good.
The elections were just......ugh.
I'm completely fine with Ben Miller as our president, though it would be nice if I won, but still, he's a good guy. At least it wasn't Paige again. I'd rather have Ben over her anyday. He's more likeable.
But the thing that got to me was that it was another damn popularity contest. Heather was the rightful Secretary and Laura is way more of a mathetician than Megan. I wish someone ran against Chris. He's just not somebody to be put in a leadership position.
I really wish our class was like the Hippie Class of '08. At least they had decent voters and decent winners. They had a variety of people who all hung out together. Our class is just not that cool. We have awesome people, but those awesome peoples' voices aren't heard.
Next year for sure, we are taking the hell over our class office (the non-existent one anyway).

You'll love my shirt tomorrow btw!

Stuffness!

No it didn't!!!!

What was that? LOL! JK! But it was a fine speech. Not like WHOA! AWESOME! But nice and simple.

Enough with that. Agreed!

Ummm, I have nothing to do this weekend besides football game on Friday and our Pagan Circle!!!!
Don't forget LAURA! LOL! We can do whenever you're awake! It's aight! We can even do it right before supper!

Well, it's been awhile...

I haven't posted in a loooong time... Wow. There's really not much for me to say though... That might be mainly 'cause I'm tired...

So anyways, I'm making a new rule for the blog. NO POLITICS! I may be the only one who actually uses this thing that doesn't like Obama, but honestly! I'm really sick of hearing about how great he is, okay? It only serves to get under my skin and bug me. And I now anything I say against him bugs you. So let's agree to disagree and not talk about it on the blog please, unless it's something really important. Not a random speech that I'm not going to talk about. Because it really did promote socialist values a little...

Hm... Did anyone hear that? I didn't... But seriously. No more. I'm sick of hearing how great it is. And I'm also even sick of my Republican friends who just make things harder for me by providing ridiculous defenses like "He's the Antichrist!" or "He's gonna send us all to Communism!" or etc. Those are not true, and just give us republicans a bad name...

Alright. I'm stopping now. I just needed to get that off my chest... And now...
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...
...
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NO MORE!

So anyways, how's school going for everybody? Not like I don't know... But I've run out of things to talk about... There's really not much going on at my end... Social-wise, at least...

I've got the ACT this weekend... And maybe I'll celebrate finishing it by going somewhere... Or maybe I'll just sleep. That option is sounding better and better lately.

So anyways, I'm gonna go finish my book... Which is DreamHunter, by Elizabeth Knox, btw. It's about a dreamy, 15-year-old girl named Laura! Sound familiar?

Lol. So anyways, I'll see ya later!

~Laura~

P.S. Vote for Laura!
P.P.S. Vote Braden too!

My thoughts on Obama's speech today.

Obama's speech on education was really good. It was nice and he kept it flowing with good points and the stories he used could have fellow students in America use them as inspiration.
I have no idea why parents are so delusional that Obama wanted to brainwash us with his "Socialist" ways.
I mean, seriously? It's like they want to discourage their kids from pursuing the education they deserve. So is it really going to come down to this? Are parents really wanting their kids to be dumb and inconsiderate?
And come on, you have to dig really deep to find anything contradictory (basically create them) because there wasn't anything in there that was negative.
It was a simple and very basic speech on encouraging kids in their education.

Change of plans!

Elections for Class Officers are going to be held on Thursday due to Drug Awareness assemblies tomorrow. Just so you all know.

Do you remember the way I held your hand?

No school tomorrowwwww! I'm pretty much happy about that. You know what would make me happier? If I got to hang out with you guys tomorrow!!!!
This means LET'S DO IT. Somebody! Plans! AHHHHHH!!!!
Terra's probably sleeping over tonight. But tomorrow, let's do something. Ya know?

In other news: I am dyeing my pointe shoes black! :) And My mp3 player is a zombie! :(

That's all my other news, really. I guess the only thing I really have to look forward to is SAYF, and I'm not even that excited about that honestly. We need to plan a sleepover. I need something to look forward to these days. I also need something to read... any suggestions? (Besides Catching Fire. That's a given ASAP.) I'm currently rereading Uglies since the library won't be open until Tuesday. Laura, if, no WHEN, I see you, please be armed with some literature!

I also have some funny stories from today at meeting.

OKAY! Time for the ubiquitous END OF POST messages!

Braden: So that cake? It's gonna happen. And it will be EPIC.

Laura: Shhh! Listen to me talk!!! :D

Hannah: It seems like that to me too. Why is that?
P.S. Thunderbolt and lightning!

Lekey: I'm sorry for the nothing that happened on Friday. I was feeling antisocial. Don't take it personally. I love youuu


EDIT: You should all TOTALLY go back and read some of our posts from like a year ago. I think we might have gotten less funny? Because I was laughing out loud at our old posts. Try September 08. They're hilarious.

One love feeds the fire, one heart burns desire.

GOD, BEING SICK SUCKSSS.

Anyway, I really missed you guys today (I mean yesterday.)

Actually I was actually praying for a reason not to go to school, and God blessed me with a stomach bug.

Ohhh, drama, drama. Shall we discuss my issues, on Monday, since we have that day off?

I really hope you guys have never been screwed over as bad as I have. (well, maybe Laura had it worse than I did... but that's a different topic.)

Eh, I'm just ranting right now. I seem to do that. A lot. Anyway I guess I'll stop wasting your time.

------

Braden- KAKE. =D

Laura- You should expect a call from me sometime today.

Lekey- Gawd! I miss yew! Text me, gurl.

Taylor- It seems as if we don't talk anymore, even though we talk, like, all the time, almost.