You ain't alone in this ugly town.

Reading your guys' heart felt posts made my day 10% better.
Now my day is at... 10%
You see, my Great Granny died today.
But what's awful, is that I'm not all that upset about it, unlike the rest of my family.
What's really made my day shitty is that I finally realized that I'm just wasting my time, I need to give up on Dylan. But, I don't know how to give up on him, and I don't want to give up on him. I want more than anything to be his friend. But I can't do that, because those feelings will never leave me unless I cut him out entirely. And I want to know, how I can do that. I've never cut anyone out completely before. And I don't think I can. But seriously, this whole damn thing has gone on long enough. I mean it's been over a year, and I should've cut him out after the huge spat we had last May. But, no. He had to text me toward the end of June confessing his love for me. Then I'm all "Hey, if he cares enough to do this, maybe I should take him back!" But, if you guys know Dylan, he doesn't just throw those kinds of things around. Then during this past school year, we became really chummy again. Which made me happy, and then I've been talking to him a lot during this summer. Which is a pretty damn great thing. But, he has another girlfriend now as well, and he's happier than I've seen him in a long, long time. And it kills me, because I'm not the reason he's happy. So, today, I thought "I'm tired of wasting my time".

And so here I am ranting to you all about something I should've realized a year ago. And, god, I wish all of you were around. But Taylor is in vermont, Laura and Braden are in South Carolina (I think). So it's just me and Heather, and as much as I love her. I'd like more people around. And no offense Heather, but you're not very good at letting people go.

But anyway. I'm going to leave you all alone, if you actually chose to read this.

-Hannah
XO