Feelings at the moment...

I'm better than I was, but I'm still a bit down.

I knew it would take a miracle to place on that Science test, so I'm not down about that as much.

I feel like I didn't do enough. I took one test....the same thing as last year, but the feeling's different. One person had to drop out of Social Studies and I wanted to do something, so I took their spot. For that, I felt like I contributed. This year I did the same thing. Took one test, and that's it, but the feeling's not the same.

It feels like I shouldn't be the one congratulated. I know what you're going to say. "You're still part of the winning team." Yeah I am, but there's that individual aspect of achievement that I felt I didn't get while mostly everybody else did. I knew I was not going to place in Science, but I still should've done Quick Recall. I've done better this year in practice and I know I would've helped this time, but apparently I'm not "strong" enough to do that. If there were 8 people allowed to do Quick Recall, I would've been that 8th person. I really feel like I was that close, but it seems it's me that I'm always left out. Yeah I won first at the JV Challenge and this has been my best year since 7th grade, but I want to be able to keep going through the year, not go to the first meet and be done. That's how it's always been and I wanted it to stop, but apparently the gods of the academic team world think I shouldn't keep going. Now I'm going to wait an entire year while you all go to Regional. Good luck. Make it to State! I'll be in Gatlinburg that weekend (of State) with the cheerleaders at Nationals.