Blog of the Phunk

2012-02-02T17:16:00.002-05:00

it's kind of stressful trying to keep all of my friendships healthy, i try to spend time with everyone and then someone has to get all whiny because i'm not paying enough attention to them. and to be honest, only one person does that. but it STRESSES ME OUT. I can't please her and then try to hang out with other people because she won't HAVE THAT. Every minute of every day I have to spend with her and it's really starting to piss me off dear god.

I know no one has been on here in months and no one will probably see this but i just really needed to vent.

Big Phunk Family Hangout!

2011-11-15T23:02:00.001-05:00

Needs to happen when Laura gets home.
I miss having all of us together.
I only see everybody at different times of the today, and then there's this whole relationship I kinda have. ;)
But yes. We need to all hang out and just vent our troubles, share jokes, laugh, and have a merry ole' Phunky time.
Who's with me? :D

2011-10-19T17:26:00.003-04:00

you know what?

I really envy you guys.

Like, I don't even know, but I feel like I'm just always being left out of everything, I'm the last one to know everything. And no one TALKS to me this year.

I mean it's our fucking Senior year and after this year, we'll probably never see each other again. We'll be going our separate ways. And I just don't like it.

I'm just saying that'd it be nice for me to be invited to these little get togethers so I could actually see you guys.

Yeah.

No one ever checks this god damn thing so none of you will see it more than likely but whatever.

Seniors!

2011-08-10T13:34:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is the last first day of high school.

We will have the best year EVER!

In other news: I submitted my online application to Berea. So I'm hoping I can complete the rest of my file the best that I can and hope I get accepted.

I'm also planning to apply to Warren Wilson for obvious reasons.

Life is finally getting exciting again!

2011-07-25T23:48:00.003-04:00

I think it's pretty clear that we're all too busy for this blog.

Well, not necessarily busy, just kind of forgotten about it.

But anyway I'm here to tell you that I believe my time on this blog has come to an end.

I've had some good memories with it, but ally things must end.

If you want to keep up with me, then you can go through my tumblr.

basterdofoz.tumblr.com

farewell "blog of the phunk"

-hannah

2011-07-07T01:26:00.001-04:00

Hey guys

Remember that road trip we were planning on taking after we graduate?

I think we should start thinking about that more.

because

we're going to Ontario, I've decided.

JUST SO YOU GUYS KNOW.

And if you guys don't want to go there

then you can just drop me off and I'll live with Dexter.

yep

love,

Hannah

And again...in better quality!

2011-07-05T00:42:00.001-04:00

:D

2011-07-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

This is how I fell in love with him.....musically!

2011-06-28T14:26:00.002-04:00

It also doesn't hurt to say he's gorgeous! :D

This. Guy. Rocks!

2011-06-28T01:28:00.000-04:00

Goodness!

2011-06-28T01:12:00.003-04:00

This blog slipped my mind. I'm sorry!!!!!

Posting time.

Hannah....KURT! I love you! We should hang more this summer! I don't know if you're watching The Glee Project or not, but there's a really attractive, and really talented contestant named Cameron Mitchell! Beautiful....and a great singer!

Also.....LAURA......I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!

Taylor, I hope Vermont is the shiz!

Lekey.....I saw you!

Heather.......I saw you too a little bit ago too!

So....we need to like have a Mario Kart marathon and a Sailor Moon marathon......let's all watch Cameron and his Irish BFF Damian (who's dreamy) on The Glee Project!

2011-06-23T21:10:00.003-04:00

I'm never going to be good enough.

For anyone.

Not for my mom. My dad. My family.

I feel as if I'm just slipping off of everyone's radar.

Hell, I'm slipping off my own radar.

I'm useless.

Pathetic.

Disgusting.

Never going to be good enough.

I want more than anything to be able to look in the mirror and see someone worthwhile. I'd fucking love that.

I fucking hate my life.

Hate it.

2011-06-18T22:18:00.002-04:00

I'm finding it rather difficult to find reasons to stay alive at this point in my life.

???

2011-06-16T10:51:00.003-04:00

Dear Hannah,

What is even going on? We're not friends on Facebook anymore and you haven't replied to my message asking the same thing. I don't want to assume anything so I'll leave it at that and wait for an answer.

I don't want to lose you again.

-Taylor

2011-06-10T01:24:00.002-04:00

Well, things are changing. I'm looking at these posts and I can't believe how much we're changing. Maybe we're drifting apart. It's kinda inevitable. But hey, look back at how far we've come! How many leaps and bounds we've made as people. It's incredible really.

I've changed a lot. Mostly for the good. However, at the moment I'm suffering from the consequences of too much change... But that will pass and I'll be all the stronger for it.

That's kinda how things work though. Bad things happen, we learn from them and become better for it. I suppose that we learn well from the good things too though.

But still.

Hannah dear, you do whatever you have to do, okay? Go and discover the world, meet new people, and you'll find more and more of those people that really care and really love you. Go out and have fun, make mistakes, and discover who you are. I know you can and I know you will.

Just know you can always contact me, even 20-50 years in the future, if ou need me, Kay?

All of us are going to be out there too, ya know. In different places, difference colleges, different jobs. Who knows? It's pretty terrifying to think about... But at the same time, invigorating.

One more year, guys. Let's make it count.

Hope to see you all soon! And again many times in the future.

Lots of love,
Laura

2011-06-06T23:53:00.002-04:00

Like, I said.

I'm growing up.

I'm finding out who I am.

And more importantly. I'm finding out who I want in my life.

And who I don't.

Which is why I'm thinking about changing schools.

I love Berea with all my heart. And for the most part. I love the people. But I need something new. Something different.

And as much as I love you guys

Well, nowadays, I'm not sure about my feelings toward some of you.

I need change. I'm stuck in a rut. And I need out.

So hopefully you'll be supportive of this decision.

-Hannah

Come to me. ;)

2011-06-06T23:44:00.002-04:00

Hannah: If you actually come to school with me like we talked about I would be the happiest person in the world.

Moving on

2011-06-06T23:33:00.001-04:00

I may not be returning to Berea Community for senior year.

GUESS WHAT.

2011-06-03T22:35:00.001-04:00

WE'RE SENIORS.

and despite what some of us may think (taylor)

we will be just as amazing as the class of 2011

we're just as talented, smart, and unique.

our class is just different.

and that's what makes us amazing.

so there.

-Hannah

Hey moon, don't you go down.

2011-06-01T20:58:00.002-04:00

We're growing up.

We're changing, and me especially.

This year has been a huge deal for me.

I've learned so much about myself.

I've learned who I am, and who I want to be.

Who my real friends are.

Who I should let go.

And you guys can tell me otherwise, but I know for a fact that we've grown apart.

We hang out with different people.

Friends come, and friends go. That's something I've always told myself.

You guys have stuck around with me longer than anyone has.

It hurts that we've grown apart.

But, I've learned that I don't need you guys to be happy.

That sounded bitchy-er than I had intended, but I didn't mean it that way.

I'm saying that I've learned to find happiness on my own.

And nowadays, with my family issues, school issues, and any other problems I have, I have some kind of hope that everything will turn out okay for me.

I've never known something like that before.

I've found self confidence. Or something close to that.

I'm starting to love myself. Finally.

There's nothing wrong with me, I've learned.

I've grown a lot as a person this year.

And I feel great.

We're going to be seniors next year.

It's a scary thought to me.

Graduating.

Leaving.

Starting again.

But at the same time, it's exciting.

After we graduate, we're not going to see each other that much, we're all going to go in different directions. We're going to meet new people.

We'll find new happiness.

New life.

A reason for being.

Like, I said earlier this year has been a huge deal to me, because honestly, up until these last month, I was miserable.

In fact.

April 2nd. I was going through a lot of shit. I told my parents that I had stopped believing in God. They didn't like it. Not at all. And even now they refuse to believe it. I was stressed because of school, it was awful. I was just really fucking depressed.

And I wanted it to end.

And I had planned on ending it.

April 2nd, 2011. I had every intention to end my life.

I made a post about it on tumblr. I didn't say anything specifically about killing myself. I just told them how depressed and stressed I was, and that I was just going to disappear for a while.

then I logged out. Of everything.

And I sat in my bed for about an hour, and cried. Thought everything over, and as I was about to end it, my phone started buzzing. It was Meghan.

I answered and she was freaking out.

And then everything snapped back into place for me.

I have people to live for.

I have people that love me.

What my parents think of me doesn't matter.

All that matters, is what I thought.

and that night.

I realized that I was a person that was worth while.

No matter what I've told myself in the past, or even what I tell myself now.

I'm worth while.

I'm loved.

People care.

And I saw how much people cared when I got back on tumblr and saw that I had over 60 messages from people I've never met telling me so.

Some were anonymous, others were not.

I know some of you get tired of hearing me talk about my friends on the internet.

But they honestly care about me.

And I love them just as much as I do you guys.

Now I'm losing sight of why I made this post to being with.

It was originally about us growing up. Moving on, and all that.

But now it's just me getting all this off my chest.

Yeah.

We've changed a lot. And there's only more change to come.

Alright.

I think I'm done now.

Damn this was a long post.

and I leave you with this:

Things have changed for me

but that's okay

I'm on my way and I say

Things have changed for me.

And that's okay.

"That Green Gentleman" by Panic! at the Disco

-Hannah

Yeah, well this picture hit me like a ton of bricks.

2011-05-28T22:17:00.002-04:00

Because 1: that movie

and 2: that accuracy.

fdsjfhksdfa.

Hello All

2011-05-23T00:19:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite photos from Annie, because it was my favorite scene to act in, so I thought I would share it with those of you who hadn't already seen it. I hate telling you all how good I'm doing because it makes me worry you all will think I don't miss you, but I really really do. I have a lot of new friends and there great, I love them, but no one could ever replace you all.

Laura: we need to chill sometime and catch up, I'd love to hear some good Gatton stories, and ask you about Prom, your dress was gorgeous. :)

Hannah: I talk to you almost everyday, so idk what to tell you, except that I love you tons.

Taylor: We really need to hang out, and I would have loved for you to have seen Annie purely for my costumes. haha I thought they were pretty perfect. I haven't seen you in a while, and we really need to catch up, and have some good talk time. Also, your Prom dress was simply stunning. :D

Braden: I talk to you pretty regularly too, but I haven't seen you since Prom, Stephanie really wants to see you, and all my friends loved you they ask me about you all the time.

Lekey: Girl I haven't talked to you in forever, How've you been? We need to chill too. I hope your road trip thing is extra awesome.

Anyway I completely 100% agree with Hannah, we need a sleepover ASAP. :D Love you all!
~Heather

Field Day is Tomorrow!

2011-05-19T21:49:00.002-04:00

Who's pumped?

I is!!!!

Who's also pumped for the season 2 finale of Glee!

I IS!!!!!!

Hehe!

Taylor, I'm glad you like my Youth Salute bio!

Lekey, PROM DATE! I can't wait until you come home!

Laura, :D I saw you twice this week...and I shall many more times!

Hannah, So I talked to Brendon.

Heather, FIRST WIFE! I MISS YOU!

So Delaney (the awesomely cute, cat loving, Quakerly one) might be in Berea this weekend. :O

HAY GUISE

2011-05-19T20:54:00.002-04:00

Well then, looks like we need to have a sleepover!

I can't do this Friday but I could maybe do Saturday. If my mom would let me. Oh wait, there's trash pickup Sunday. NEVER MIND. :( So next weekend? Also remember Memorial Day.

I was just thinking about all this and I'm like 'Wow, if they were all there and nobody else.... I would be totally comfortable.' I know you guys won't judge me and won't have any biased views on my problems and things the way some people I hang out with sadly would. I'm honestly looking forward to this, whenever it happens. To be honest I used to get tired of hanging out with the same 4 or 5 people all the time, but now that we hardly ever hang out I kind of miss it.

And I'm so glad Laura's around. And whenever Lekey gets back I'll be happy to have her around. Yay. :)

Braden, I'm sorry you didn't get any prizes at the Youth Salute thing. I just found out I didn't win anything at the Art Expo. But Isaac got first overall, yay! Anyway, but it makes me so happy every time I see your picture out in the atrium, and read the words "Nurturer" "Quaker" and "Southern Appalachian Young Friends" on the Youth Salute board.

Laura, it's awesome that you're around. It's too bad I'll be away for like 6 weeks this summer! But that's only 6 weeks and we'll have plenty of time between now and when you go back to Gatton. I'm so glad you're having an awesome new experience but can also come home and pick up right where you left off.

Hannah, you and I both have problems with change and I know you feel left behind. I know high school has not been the best experience for you. I'm confident though that if you can get through one more year and get into Western your life will take off and fly. You may not realize it but you have grown so much since I first became your friend in seventh grade.

Lekey, I hope you're having lots of fun on your road trip! I'm so glad you came to prom. I really need to hang out with you more. I'm really super excited that you're coming back to school (I don't know how you feel about it)! I feel like you're good for me and that somehow whenever we hang out I end up baring my soul and then you pour some like antiseptic on it or something and it's all better. <3

Heather, you're all gone and stuff! I haven't seen you since like that one time at Libraraoke back in March or something. It seems like you're doing okay at Garrard and I'm really sorry that I didn't come see Annie! It was like PROM and I couldn't think about anything else except Midsummer. SORRY <3

Kaylyn, you never get on the blog.

Taylor, good job getting those five dresses finished even if you had to stay up until 11 two nights in a row. You're a hard worker if a procrastinator and now you're going to get like $80 or $100 for your efforts. :)

2011-05-19T17:24:00.002-04:00

too many things are changing.

too many people are changing.

I've never coped well with change.

I don't like it.

not at all.

We need to have a sleep over. Soon.

I have a lot of things that I need to get off my chest.

And I'm sure you guys have some things to talk about as well.

Or maybe you don't. I'm not sure.

I don't really talk to you guys anymore.

But yeah, we should find a time when we're not all busy.

And I'm never busy. So whenever you guys are available. Let me know.

-Hannah

I may never sleep tonight,
As long as you're still burning bright.
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,
Count me away before you sleep.
I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes,
Or they fade away.

(the song is 'Trade Mistakes' by Panic! at the Disco I've been listening to it a lot lately.)

Youth Salute

2011-05-15T20:30:00.003-04:00

As most of you have probably seen, I'm on the bulletin board in the atrium with everybody who got selected for Youth Salute (this youth leadership program).
Today was a seminar/awards ceremony at Eastern.
The seminar was cool. We had a motivational speaker who has spoken to corporation leaders and Olympic athletes do cool stuff with us. I got to meet a few people too.
Then the awards ceremony.....it sucked.
There were 15 people that got $4000 scholarships to EKU, Georgetown, and Midway. Then 44 people got Awards Stars for being the top youth leader from the 44 schools in the program (some of which had received a $4000 scholarship already).
Then there were other $100, $500 scholarships given out (most of which went to people who were already up on stage for getting awards).
So only a handful of people actually got awards while most of everybody who showed only got a certificate....that the people passed out without any names on them.
I'm kinda pissed. I thought I would at least get a $100 scholarship.
I didn't sign up for any of the $4000 because I didn't want to go to those colleges (and Midway was females only).
There's also this national conference in St. Louis in October that 6 people got selected for. I figured it was the same weekend as SAYF, so I didn't go for it. I'm pretty sure the 6 people that got selected were already on stage.
I'm not the happiest that I usually am because I felt cheated and I felt like it couldn't been run better and that everybody could've gotten an award or at least their name announced.

So it was all dumb.

Hello all!

2011-05-03T21:25:00.002-04:00

Do you realize that we have over 500 posts on this thing? And that we've been posting since 2007? Crazy, isn't it? And to think that we still use this thing! On and off throughout the years, but still pretty regularly, I think...

It's cool! And to think that it all started in 8th grade. Taylor and I in my basement and we were all "Let's make a Phunk Sister's blog!" and something awesome was born. ;)

We had the original four and our glove things, remember? I still have mine up in my dorm! And I wore it at the Rave last Semester!

And then Lekey and Kaylyn and Braden were inducted and there were 7... And it was awesome. Still is, actually.

I guess a lot has changed. And now, at the end of the Semester, I'm getting nostalgic. 'Cause I'm about to leave my new friends for the summer. And some that are graduating, I may never see again, you know?

But then I know that I still have you guys for the summer. And we'll have to do something awesome. I don't know what. Just something awesome. :)

But yeah. My life consists of laying around in the grass with friends, sex jokes, shooting guns, and lots and lots of work for the last two weeks of the semester.

So yeah. Guess what? Less than two weeks and I'm hoooooome! Expect random class visits. And we have to have a sleepover. Just us, if ya don't mind. We can have more people another time. But when I first get back home, I want to have some time with just us, kay? I feel so disconnected from most of you now. And that's pretty depressing.

A lot has happened to me in these past months. I've accumulated an awesome group of friends (Though they can't compete with you guys yet ;) ) , gotten a guy, broke up with a guy right before prom(his fault), really learned to dance a little dirty(winkwink), learned to joke a little dirtier, discovered the stress of life, discovered panic attacks(Don't wanna talk about that now. Ask me later.), learned how awful I am at keeping in touch with people, discovered more about who I am, and lost just a bit of shyness and self-consciousness.

All in all, it's been a good year. :)

So tell me about life guys!

See you in two weeks!
~Laura (always of the phunk)~

Well.

2011-05-01T21:37:00.002-04:00

I don't know what to say, honestly.

It's the same old, same old with.

Bringing up my grades and all that jazz.

Stressing over prom.

Which I shouldn't because I probably won't have a good time anyway.

All the important stuff that's been going on, I'd much rather talk about in person.

I miss you guys. I really do.

I feel as if we're barely friends anymore.

I talk to Heather. That's it. Well that's the only real life friend I talk to about my problems.

At this point in time Yoela and Dexter are the people that are closest to me. And that's kind of upsetting seeing as one lives in NYC and the other in Ontario.

I don't know why I don't. But.

God. We need to have a sleepover. Soon.

I would suggest a prom after party at someone's house, but we'll probably be dead after prom.

We'll think of something, I'm sure.

Peace out.

-Hannah

P.S.

2011-04-29T14:50:00.001-04:00

Don't make me write stuff like that too often. I'm trying to become a badass.

Shewww.

2011-04-29T14:15:00.002-04:00

Hey guys!
I just got a phone call from Laura, which reminded me of my past life here with you guys. I miss you all, and those days. Life's changed so much and so often though that it's useless to be too sad about it, it just feels good to, once in a while, sift through those paper-thin memories.

Plans for the future
Threaten to move us, even
Further than right now.

Whoo bad grammar. College or other post-graduation plans only make my head hurt and my insecurities and worries soar. I'd rather just stay here and drink coffee.
The future seems interminable, my lovelies, and thinking about it is impossible because it's an experience that isn't comparable to any ones I've had before. That's how India was, right up until I left. And that turned out pretty well. I WILL get on it though, and soon. It's just not going to "look good" at first.

Heather gurl, I keep thinking about you. It sounds like life is good in Garrard, which is great. I'd never see you even if you were here anyway.

Taylor, you keep surprising me with all these beautiful things about your personality and thoughts and creations that, if I saw you more, wouldn't be a surprise at all. I lyke yew.

Well, let's see. Egypt revolutionized (which made me cry when I heard about it), Japan had disaster upon disaster, Libya and Tunisia keep on fighting, Prince William got married, there's going to be a second Hangover, people fight, people get born, people die, music is made and dances are learned, His Holiness is officially turning over his political power to the Kalon Tripa (prime minister) of the Tibetan government... Oliver! was a success, Braden's a national champion and is leaving cheer, Kinetic Expressions jumped and spun out, Midsummer is in progress, I sleep and do judo, dance and eat, and pretend to be Tibetan.

I do miss you guys. Tell us about yourselves.

Garrard Happenings

2011-04-17T15:52:00.000-04:00

I miss yo all a lot. More then anyone can understand, the only one of you I have regular contact with is Hannah. It looked like for a long time that I was going to go back to Berea next year, but it seems less and less likely as my mom keeps talking about moving to Ashland, which is about 2 hours away. :P

I'm really excited about some stuff too though. I'm going to be on t.v! On May 4th we're doing two songs from Annie on the morning news, and the main characters are being interviewed. I'm really excited and kinda nervous to sing on the t.v live, but it'll be a lot of fun. :D

My Prom is in 2 weeks. I had a date but he was a total jerk so I got out of that as quick as I could. Apparently my friend Ernest wants to ask me, but I don't know if he will, because he told my mom he wanted to, so oh well. haha. Our theme is some Kings of Leon song. The best part will probably be the bowling my friends and I are doing afterwards, and some of the after parties that my friend Stephanie and I are going too, but I'm still looking forward to it.

I would love it if any of you could come to see Annie, I've really been pouring my soul into it, so I'd love for the people I love to come see it. :D it's May 6th 7th, and 8th.

Anyway, I love you all., and I hope everything gets better for everyone. <3

Stuff.....

2011-04-12T19:53:00.002-04:00

Stuff about me:
~ Should hear from GSP soon about whether or not I got in.
~ Excited for Prom, except that there have been NO meetings, and NO information whatsoever, and there's less than a month to go. It takes a long time to plan a good plan. At this rate, ours' might be a joke.
~ GLEE!
~ SAYF.

That's all for now!

Jumpstart!

2011-04-12T19:25:00.003-04:00

Hey guys, what's crackin?

Just thought I'd give this lil blog of ours a little push, since we all know that when you get on a blog where nobody's posted for a month you really don't feel like posting yourself. Got to break that cycle!

Oh my dears, we're growing apart. I suppose that's how it must be, though. We're growing up into our own selves. And none of us will ever forget anything.

So much to tell you all and I can't even begin.

This year is interesting. I've lost people and found people and felt betrayed by people only to love them again.

God I can't even write. Too much too much to say and I can't even say any of it. It's like when you're pouring the powdered milk and some comes out but then so much tries to come out from in the little hole that none comes out and you have to tip the box back and start again.

So, tipping the box back.

I've lost Heather. I've sort of lost Laura. Certainly I'm not as close to Hannah any more. Braden you're always there and Lekey I see when I can. I feel like I'm losing Terra for reasons I can't control. I've found and lost Maurice. I don't even know where Tim is in all this losing and finding but hopefully I can hold on to him. I've grown close to Madelyn although I am not so sure I can trust her. I never even saw Austin Lawson before this year. And all the Drama people I've found. Not to forget the strange relationship I now sort of have with Zack and Sebastian as Tim's friends. Everything changes!

All clogged up again.

Blog with me!

Sup

2011-04-04T01:06:00.001-04:00

I haven't been on in a while. And I don't really have much to say. So.... Yep . I'm just rambling.

It's still weird to say.....

2011-03-22T20:45:00.002-04:00

that I'm a NATIONAL CHAMPION!

It's just so weird that it's reality after a year of working hard for it!
It's also weird that the season is over and I get to have a life again.
I just can't tell you how I feel.

My weekend....

2011-02-27T18:16:00.002-05:00

It was amazing!
Knoxville was so pretty...especially on Saturday.
We had a healing circle outside because somebody close to us in the community passed away and two of the grandkids are in SAYF.
It was sunny!
Knoxville has a wooden balance beam outside....so I was a happy SAYFer!
After many oreos, grapes, and cups of juice, I'm so glad I got to go.
I wrote an Epistle (which is now officially known as a Worship Journal).
I told time in Spanish.
I played an 8 hour game of Monopoly.
Can't wait to get these next three weeks over and done!

Two days!

2011-02-23T20:47:00.001-05:00

I'm excited.
After 5 months of being deprived.....I can finally go to SAYF! Ahhhhh!
I'm so ready to see SAYFers and hug them lots-of-millions!

So angry I'm sick at my stomach

2011-02-21T17:12:00.000-05:00

I don't want to go back to Berea, like NOW.

We put up the cast list for Annie today, and my mom was so proud of it because she thought it was perfect, but a bunch of kids were unhappy, and they did nothing but whine, and complain all day, and then after school parents started calling and harassing her like it was her fault or something. It got so bad that my mom just broke down and started crying, and now she won't do the show.

It sickens me that people are that selfish, and that some parents are that ruthless that they can insult my mommy like that.

That would never happen at Berea, people there have more respect, more decency then to hurt someone like that on purpose.

I hate knowing everything that goes on because I'm in a constant state of rage, at Berea I knew a lot, because Flara would tell me a lot, but I didn't know everything, and I didn't have to witness it.

Words just can not even express how angry I am.

Bleh.

2011-02-15T17:16:00.001-05:00

I like Taylors thingy, it's quite pretty and festive, and purple!

Well I'm trying out for a musical on Thursday and Friday, it's Annie, which you all know about the plot so I won't go into further detail about it.

Andrew and I broke up, I would feel fine, if I didn't feel like a jerk. Hurting people really makes me unhappy, and now I have this constant hurting in my chest because I know that I did something bad to someone. Why do I suck so much?

I love you all to death,
~Heather

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T19:36:00.002-05:00

In honor of the holiday I made this!

Valentine's Wallpaper

It's a valentine wallpaper. I hope y'all like it!

The post about feelings.

2011-02-09T22:01:00.002-05:00

I think some feelings have faded.

I've just been thinking lately about how it will work out between us.

I don't want to commit to a long distance relationship because I wouldn't get to see him as much as I would like (and Facebook isn't seeing him like I would want to), and it just opens the door for somebody else to enter the picture, and I don't want that to be a problem.

I guess I've also felt some indirect pressure, I guess you would say. Yes, I am talking Homecoming. He wasn't actually my date, more of my guest and good friend. I also didn't feel like slow dancing that night. I really wanted to just fist pump all night, pretty much. So it wasn't necessary to walk off and "leave us alone." Which shouldn't have to happen anyway.

And there's more stuff that I kinda wanted to talk about in person, which is why I wanted to put together a Phunk hang out.

So yeah.

Hey All!

2011-02-09T00:23:00.002-05:00

So I've been meaning to post something since, like... Sunday.

And then I got busy with homework and ended up staying up until 6AM and then sleeping all day the next day and... Yeah.

So everythings going great here. Classes are awesome. Friends are awesome....

Still miss you guys though. And when I'm at home, I miss my friends here... Can't win, can I? Ah well though...

So let's see... What do I have to talk about? Nothing really comes to mind right now... Got a boyfriend, but you all already know that thanks to facebook and me being home for a month... Things are going well there it seems...

Uh... So what's going on in all your lives? Gotta keep me updated on the drama, you know. ;)

I hope that I get to see most of you all soon. My family is going to be visiting for my grandma's birthday this weekend, so I won't be able to hang out much after that first Friday get together. But I'll be back for regionals next weekend.

Love you all and miss you! More than I can say...
~Laura(of the phunk)~

A valid point

2011-02-08T22:30:00.000-05:00

Taylor's right, we should get this thing up and running for real again. I miss you all, and would love to be more in touch with you guys.
So far for me i've been pretty good, my plays opening night is this friday and I'm stressing a little bit, but that's just how it goes.
I'm actually doing really well; I have all A's in my classes, my teachers are all very nice. My new friends are lovely (not as lovely as you all), I have a gorgeous prom dress, and I'm getting my license and a car soon (hopefully I'll see you all more once I get it.)
Love you all! <3

Hey guys, remember this blog that we have?

2011-02-06T20:23:00.003-05:00

So hi guys. Remember this blog? I mean, besides Braden?

Personally I think we need this blog more than we ever have before, seeing as Heather and Laura are off on their own adventures, Lekey's homeschooled, and I hardly talk to the rest of you.

Remember when we used to have sleepovers and watch some movie, cook some food, have some deep discussion, and giggle over some funny thing?

Remember when we were The Phunk and we used to cry in front of each other?

Remember when we went out for movies, or to the Black Feather, or shopping, and we all tried on dresses we didn't even consider buying?

Remember when I hung out with you guys all the time?

Remember when we used to have fights? We don't do that anymore because we don't talk enough to disagree about anything.

Remember in 8th grade when we decided we were going to be friends for the rest of our lives and name our children after each other and stuff?

Now I'm not saying we're not still friends. I'm not saying I don't still hang out with some of you sometimes. I'm just saying we never get together as a group, we never talk about stuff together... what happened?

So let's revive the blog, yeah? I can't talk in person to Laura when she's 4 hours away but the internet exists for a reason. So let's do this. <3

Post #500

2011-02-05T20:09:00.002-05:00

So three of our five cheer competitions have past.
The first two were flukes.
Today's was AMAZING! We had only a couple of glitches, but we hit every stunt and we won in our division!
Also I need to learn the full dance for Thriller because they played the song before awards and all of the cheerleaders were dancing on the mats and I only did three pieces that were slightly accurate. Some cheerleaders saw what I was doing and joined in....kinda. I would pause and just look around and they'd just be staring at me. They'd copied every move I did. LOL! It was funny!
Best day ever!

2011-01-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

But then I realized how much I miss Dylan.

Fuck.

Things that I am excited for

2011-01-12T22:11:00.001-05:00

I haven't been all that happy with how things have been going, so to be more optimistic, I'm making a list of all the things I am excited for.

1. District Governor's Cup meet - I am confident I will make it to Regional at least one event.
2. GLEE! I'm curious as to what happens between Kurt and Blaine the second half of Season 2.
3. Possibly getting to compete at Regional for the first time in 4 years.
4. Possible Nurturer's retreat the last weekend of February - I haven't been to one yet and the calendar is mostly blank for that weekend, so yeah.
5. Last weekend in March = Asheville SAYF retreat
6. April SAYF retreat in Knoxville - Berea is planning it.
7. Chicago trip for band
8. End of school
9. SAYMA - even though awesome seniors are graduated from SAYF, I'm excited!
10. Senior year
11. Turning 18.
12. Holidays like Halloween and Christmas and stuff that can wait! LOL!

First blog post of the year: 2011 edition!

2011-01-01T11:02:00.002-05:00

It's 2011.

Hehe. 1/1/11

I haven't thought of a resolution as a lot of mine from last year seemed to happen.

I guess I'll start listing them off:
~ Finishing Junior Year with kick-ass grades
~ At least qualify to Regional (after 4 years)
~ SAYF it up!
~ Get into GSP (though it might not happen, and that's fine).
~ Retire from cheerleading (yes, retire)
~ Try out for All-Regional Band and hopefully make it

Oh yeah:
~ Win multiple gold medals at the Olympics! ;)

My Christmas presents!

2010-12-25T12:28:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

I gots:
~ Glee: Season 1
~ Eclipse
~ Vampires Suck
~ Socks and underwear
~ Popcorn
~ an ALC sweatshirt
~ a laptop cooling pad
~ An iHOME!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T10:52:00.002-05:00

So guess what guys IT'S CHRISTMAS

My Gram hasn't come yet so we haven't opened presents from her but...

I got a KitchenAid. You know, like the mixer. It's shiny and beautiful and I reallyreally like itttt

Also a pastry bag/tips for frosting. YAY

My dad for some reason got me three purple bandannas... Yay?

I got a new hairbrush and lotions and chapstick and stuff in my stocking. :)

But yesterday was the real fun, that whole thing at Union Church and then the Saderholms! It's so nice to see Maurice again after all that time, I think I remember why I liked him once upon a time. It was just so nice to be with people on Christmas Eve, and run through the streets yelling SNOH with Lekey. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! YAYYYYY

Well I don't have much else to do today. Maybe I'll make something with my MIXER!

I think I'm falling for somebody....

2010-12-24T01:42:00.002-05:00

You know who it is!

I think I'm falling for him.

We were over at Sibyl's, watching Easy A, and we sat next to each other on a love seat, and he was cold, so he clung to me a little. I felt something that I don't recall ever feeling. It wasn't in my pants. I guess you could say it was in my heart. ;)

For Someone.

2010-12-20T16:26:00.001-05:00

If there's a place that I could be
Then I'd be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me
And if we can't find where we belong
We'll have to make it on our own
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you

2010-12-19T18:35:00.003-05:00

I want to forget everything.

I want to forget Freshman year.

I want to forget all the shitty people I associate with.

I want to forget all the people I've hurt.

I want to forget all the people that have hurt me.

I just want to forget.

I'm tired of being everyone's punching bag.

I hate all the people that sit there and talk shit about me.

I hate the people that make fun of me, whether it's my hair, what I wear, what I think, I hate them.

I'm tired of being a failure, and letting everyone down.

I'm basically useless to everyone around me.

And I hate this feeling.

And I'm sure as hell tired of feeling alone.

I swear, if I had the courage, I would end it.

End all this rage, depression, uselessness.

I'm just tired of everything, and everyone.

And I want it to end.

Opening Night... or not.

2010-12-16T20:49:00.002-05:00

Well. I guess that's it. Today's show was canceled, and there's nothing anyone can do anymore. It would've been over by now anyway.

So I managed to get the lead in a play, and we're only doing 2 and a half shows. Why did the Oz people get to do like seven? I know, it must have been stressful or whatever, but they got to do their thing lots of times for lots of people. And I know there will be other shows in the future. But not this one, with these people, and this costume, and these songs. Not this show.

I pray there is school tomorrow, because I want to do the school performance more than anything. I want to show the school the real me. I want them to see the Taylor who will sew herself a red dress and get up on stage and drink gin and sing at the top of her lungs. Nobody knows that me. They know the me who wears pretty little dresses and sits silent in classes drawing and mumbles when you ask her a question. That's not the real me.

This me comes from a childhood of making up my own stories to act out, a childhood of New Year's parties where we played Harry Potter while we waited for midnight, and we made up characters like Snape's daughter who gave out candy just because there was candy and we were tired of pretending to be men. I spent half my life pretending to be other people; why shouldn't I be able to translate that into acting?

Forgive me for this little diatribe. I've been feeling so icky and spacey and hopeless today, all I could do was to curl up with a book all day. Did I mention I hate winter?

And I think I deserve a selfish post. Others of us certainly seem to believe it's okay.

I know what it's like....

2010-12-14T12:57:00.002-05:00

I've been there for about 17 years now, and I can tell you that 17 years may seem like a long time, but it's still young.
It's different for everybody. You just have to let it come when it comes. Worry about what's going on now and it'll be here before you know it, like Christmas, except it'll last a lot longer.

I've been patient too. I've waited forever. I still have to wait. It's okay. It WILL happen. Maybe not tomorrow or before 2010 is over, but it will happen.

Remember we live in Berea. There's a lot of the world we haven't seen yet.

Oh what, really?

2010-12-13T19:45:00.002-05:00

So, it has now been put in my sights that I'm (almost.) about to be the ONLY ONE out of the phunk that hasn't had a boyfriend....

Welp. Do I need to post the picture again?

I don't think so.

But tomorrow, for those that will see me. (That is, if we don't have another snow day.)

JUST TAKE A LOOK AT ALL OF THE FUCKS I WILL BE GIVING.

None.

Do you guys think I'm being selfish?

Stubborn?

A bitch?

Impatient, even?

Deal with it.

I've been patient.

And I'm tired of it.

When am I going to have my turn?

Fuck it.

So....

2010-12-13T19:19:00.002-05:00

This might be a sign.

Laura has a boyfriend.

I think I'm about to get one (we just need to hang out more and make it official).

Soon we all would have had one.

We just need to be patient and just live life. I heard it's better to wait for them to come, rather than to find them. Well it worked for me, so it must work for other people.

What, I'm the only one out of my girl friends that hasn't had a boyfriend?

2010-12-13T19:15:00.003-05:00

Welp.

2010-12-13T18:58:00.001-05:00

It looks like I have another case of "I wanna be happy for you, but I can't because of my own selfish reasons."

This has been a post. :|

EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD SHOULD SEE THIS.

2010-11-28T21:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2dNT7M

This should be shown in international meetings, all the world leaders would be too happy to disagree. :D

And so I begin

2010-11-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

Well my first day is tomorrow, I'm not sure what to expect but I feel it shouldn't be too bad.
I'm going to miss you guys like crazy, and I hope I can make some friends who can come at least a little close to your guys level of awesome.
I suppose the worst part is there nerd to hick ratio, which is apparently unsettling, and also they really like to pants people over there...
They have a coffee shop in the library though, and I could certainly get used to that. Snuggling up to a book and a cup of coffee in a lounge chair by a window. Sounds nice right? I suppose so, but what's wrong with a crap selection of books and hard wooden chairs? Most people would say there's plenty wrong with that, I guess.
Well anyway, have fun at school tomorrow, I know I'll try my best to do the same, and you guys better take good care of Ms. Flara. :D

Love you all so very very much
~Heather of the phunk.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T10:15:00.003-05:00

To all of my Phunk sisters, I wish you a happy Thanksgiving and hopefully we all won't eat too much!
:D

Hot picture!

2010-11-22T22:17:00.001-05:00

Black Friday!

2010-11-21T13:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, so Laura and I are planning a Harry Potter outing and sleepover at her house!
We're going to go see the movie Friday night.
Then go to her house.....and sleep?.....I guess you could say that.
But yeah.

Heather - :( I'll miss you too! But you'll have a WAY BETTER history class, and for that, I envy you. Have fun at Garrard and I hope to see you at an academic team meet and well......in town and stuff! :D

2010-11-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know how often you guys check up on the blog, but I decided that this was the best place to start, anyway.

I am switching schools, Tuesday is my last day at Berea, and I even have a schedule for the other school (which includes a kick butt class about the Holocaust 1st period.) I am going to Garrard county because that's what's easiest for my parents, and it doesn't suck like southern.

I am really going to miss seeing you guys all the time, but this is what is truly best for me and my education, if I want to get into Western I need WAY better grades then I have.

I love each and everyone of you for so many different reasons, and this doesn't change anything like that, I'm still a best friend, and I will still always be here for each of you if you need me, or maybe even if you don't.

I don't really have much else to say, but I guess nothing else needs to be said.

Love you guys,
Heather of the Phunk. <3

Glee.

2010-11-11T20:35:00.002-05:00

As you know, Glee this week was unexpecting.
Before that moment had happened, I knew Karofsky wouldn't hurt Kurt again, but I did not see the kiss happening. I bet I knew what would've happened had I not read a tweet a friend that kinda spoiled it.....we're still working on that.
But yeah. I think it's going to be Kurt and Blaine. They just click. Kurt even has his picture in his locker.
So yeah....if Glee ever comes to KY on tour....WE ARE GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see our freedom in my sight.

2010-11-07T20:55:00.002-05:00

After this year, I'll have one year left.

Then I'll be out of here, and you better believe I won't be looking back.

I hate this home. I don't even think I can call it home, home is where you're supposed to feel, happy, secure, loved.

I feel these things more at school.

And hell, today at Flara's I felt like I had a real family. People I can sit there and talk to, about anything.

I told her all of the problems I'm having with my home life.

I don't tell anyone about those problems. (Except for Heather.)

But I sat there and I spilled everything out.

I want my family to be like that.

Today, I've never felt so accepted.

I could sit there, talk about things I liked, the things I disliked.

These people here.

They aren't my family.

This year, Ms. Flara has been more of a mother to me than my actual mother ever has.

I talked to her, about everything, she didn't judge, didn't make comments, she just listened.

That's all I want.

I want my family to be like what I had today.

People who won't judge me.

People who won't call me a failure.

And most definitely have faith in me, and who will listen.

-Hannah

That's your funeral

2010-11-02T00:07:00.000-04:00

GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW? I MEAN LIKE WHAT. THE. HELL.

So as Taylor already said she and I are two of the four female mains for Oliver! I am like sooooooooooo excited like I don't even know what to say. So in one of my scenes I sing a song with Ian and Aaron. LOL.

Anyway, here's my song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-KdgarQJXE&feature=related :D yup.

I'd do anything for you!

2010-11-01T20:20:00.003-04:00

alskdgalskhgaksjh

Still freakin' out a little bit about this whole Nancy thing.

I'd do anything, for you dear

Anything!

For you mean everything

To me!

I'd go anywhere for your smile

Anywhere!

For your smile everywhere

I'd see!

Ahahahhahaaa!

I've never been anything important before! I'm a villager, or an Ozian, or a pick-a-little lady! It's my first important role and it's the lead!

I'm really sorry for being so excited. I know it's probably irritating.

And you know what's funny, this is the first musical that I didn't even care if I got a part!

I knew I'd have fun with it even if I was a villager again.

And nowwwww

As long as he needs me, and yes he does need me...

Now Caleb's going to kill me! :D

Congrats to Heather too, for being Mrs. Sowerberry!

And Hannah, for being Old Sally! At least you're not a villager! Every part is essential!

AND THIS PLAY IS SET IN THE 1830's!!! THAT MEANS FUN COSTUMES!!!!

I'm excited. Love, Taylor.

So...

2010-11-01T18:04:00.002-04:00

As it turns out, I did get a part in the musical.

I'm a dying old woman named Sally.

Haha, I lay in a bed, tell some people about a locket, and die.

Oh, fun.

Oh, congrats to Taylor and Heather for getting parts that actually have some purpose! :DD

*applause*

Hahaaaa, anyway, this week should be awesome.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Kaylyn's to work on our AP project.

Wed&Thurs: FUCKING NOTHING.

Friday: Due Date with Meghan and Company.

Saturday: Pinnacle with whoever wants to come (that won't be at SAYF)

Sunday: Lunch with Ms. Flara.

Yeah, this weeks gonna rock.

-Hannah

Halloween happenings...

2010-10-31T21:25:00.003-04:00

Friday night: Haunted Barn and Trail with Lekey, Sibyl, Ashley, Isaac Alexander, and Brandon Hartman. It was fun! We stood in line for about 30 mins. Michael Myers came and stalked everybody in line. Pretty sweet. We went in and there was this old creepy guy who's wife is in a coffin. We had to memorize the date she died (10/27/06). The numbers appeared later in the barn. Stuff started happening like noises and people scaring Lekey and Ashley in the corner they were sitting in. He started telling us those numbers started bad things and we had to leave.
So we are rushed out of the room (while his wife rose from the coffin, which I knew would happen). We went up some stairs.
We go through the barn, get scared by people. There was a guy who was yelling at us to get out, blah blah blah, and I'm in the back of our group, and nobody is moving, so I'm like, "Go on, guys." He starts shouting, "What's the problem, little boy? You gonna piss your pants?" I didn't say anything, I just thought, "No. It's just that nobody is moving!"
The next room was a Saw-themed room where we had to find a key to get out. It didn't take long because we saw the string it was attached to, and we got out.
Then we go down some stairs. It was funny. The clown was helping some on us down the stairs, and she tells me, "You're gonna die." LOL! I thought, "By falling down these stairs, maybe."
Then we saw a little girl with a Ouija board, then a girl swinging who was snatched by Freddy Kruger.
Then there was a pitch black maze. Then we were in this tight room with a chain-linked window looking outside. There were two guys in there with us. One asked if we would go to his house for dinner. Ashley was like, "Are we having Isaac?" LOL!
I knew something was gonna happen. Then I heard the chainsaw start and Leatherface was on the other side of the fence window. We didn't move, but the doorway was open and I was motioning them to go through.....but no. LOL! We went through eventually and got outside.
Then there was the trail part, which was small. I just start running through it and it was one chainsaw guy after the other (there were three).
We lived, but Ashley and Isaac didn't come out. Apparently a little boy was trying to scare Ashley in the trail and she talked to him because he wasn't scary. They came a couple of minutes later.
We were safe. I was walking with Lekey and then she sees Michael Myers coming towards us again. LOL! She was really creeped out. It was really fun. Next year, we all have to go to one.

Saturday: Didn't do much until trick-or-treat (which seemed like only 30 minutes long). We all dressed up, then watched Paranormal Activity after that, then the party, then I went back to Sibyl's and watched Freddy vs. Jason.

Sunday: Meeting, Lekey's talk about India, yummy snacks, Hong Kong Buffet for lunch, and nothing else.

Now I need to complete my Youth Salute essay and read for Lambert.

El dia de los muertos es manana.

Life has been...

2010-10-31T19:09:00.002-04:00

Pretty awesome, despite a few minor problems.

This weekend was great!

Party, adventures, and another step towards my main goal at the moment. c;

Next week/weekend shall be fabulous.

*Tues: Going to Kaylyn's to do our AP project.

*Friday: Due Date with Meghan, Delaney (I think) and Donna.

*Saturday: Hiking with Kaylyn, Heather, (maybe Rane and Rhiannon.), AND if I get to talk to him this week at some point, Skyler. ;D

*Sunday: Who knows! I kind of want to hang out with my cousin.

And the following is just a song that I've been listening to a lot lately.

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd
Little deaths in musical beds
So it seems I'm someone I've never met

You will only hear these elegant crimes
Fall on your ears from criminal dimes
They spill unfound from a pretty mouth

And everybody gets there, everybody gets there
And everybody gets their way
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her
Now I'm the only one to blame

Things have changed for me, and that's okay
I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say
Things have changed for me, and that's okay

I want to go where everyone goes
I want to know what everyone knows
I want to go where everyone feels the same

I never said I'd leave the city
I never said I'd leave this town
A falling out we won't tiptoe about

When everybody gets there, everybody gets there
And everybody gets their way
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her
Now I'm the only one to blame

Things have changed for me, and that's okay
I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say
Things have changed for me, and that's okay
I feel the same, and I say

Things have changed for me, and that's okay
(Well, things have changed for me
Come on every body, let's dance and sing)
I feel the same, and I say
(I'm singing it all night long
So come on everybody and join the party)
Things have changed for me, and that's okay
(Well, things have changed for me
Come on everyone, let's dance and sing)
I feel the same, and I say
(I'm singing it all night long
So come on everybody and sing along)

Things have changed for me, and that's okay
I'm on my way, and I say

Things have changed for me

--Panic! At the Disco.

That Green Gentlemen (Things have changed)

2010-10-26T17:36:00.000-04:00

well not much going on here, I mean I have a busy week, but nothing major as far as feelings and whatnot go.

So I'm having a birthday party on November 12/ 13th I'll put all the details to that on Facebook and not spam it up on here.

Friday is the cast party so a sleepover wouldn't work for Taylor and I, anyway I love you guys, and Hannah keep your chin up, I love you sweetie, and it'll all work out in the end. <3

My Friend of Misery.

2010-10-26T15:47:00.002-04:00

Words can not describe how fucking pissed off I am right now.

No, not because of the god damned delay.

No, not because of what happened fucking yesterday.

This has been going on for the past week or two.

And I'm getting fed up with it.

I'm not going to tell you, because then I'll go into this huge rant.

If you want to know, you can ask Heather, she knows and won't rant to you for ever.

-Hannah

First thing to know about College...

2010-10-26T02:16:00.001-04:00

You've probably seen this before...

1. Friends
2. Good Grades
3. Sleep
You're in College. Pick two.

It's true. Not even kidding. I catch up on my sleep and my grades start slipping. I study more and I don't have time to hang out with my friends... So I always end up with no sleep...

I am soooo tired. All the time. But I'm also having a lot of fun... So it's worth it. :)

So I haven't posted in awhile, mainly because I don't know what to say really...

Taylor said once, that it's like I have a whole new life now. And she's right. I don't even know where to begin on telling you what's been happening with me... There's just SO MUCH!

I guess that all you really need to know is that I'm happy here. Yeah, I miss you guys. A lot. But I like it here. I don't know what I'd do if I had to go back to High School... It'd drive me insane after being here, with more challenging work and awesome classes. Did I mention that my final for my Engineering class is to build and program a robot? I'd go insane having sit through my old HS classes... Even though I would get to see you guys more...

I donno. That's just something I've been thinking on lately. I've got such awesome friends here and a wall full of paper to remind me of my awesome friends back home. :)

Anyways, I hope you guys are doing alright. Call/Skype me at any point. Webcams are such wonderful inventions...

Though if you have a sleepover, I'm not going to be home until Thanksgiving... Though I might come back on the second weekend of November... I don't know at this point. Feel free to have sleepovers before that, but I would definitely like to have one while I'm home as well. :)

Love you all! <3
~Laura~

P.S. If any of you have the chance to come up here, COME SEE ME! I want to show you guys what it's like up here...

P.P.S. Taylor, I've been trying to send you a letter for like, ever! I CAN'T FIND STAMPS ANYWHERE GAH! /mad scream
Anyways... I might just have to give you one in person... Or have my parents bring it to you or something... We shall see. Thank you for the letter, btw... Made my day. :D

So....yeah

2010-10-25T21:48:00.001-04:00

Life is life.
Ummm, cheerleading is going alright.
I get a free weekend......so if we're going to have a sleepover, let's have it on like Friday night.
Possible?
I hope so.

Excuse my boredom

2010-10-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

Siddown, you're rockin' the boat

2010-10-25T20:51:00.003-04:00

All right. Time to get this blog/show back on the road. Mmhmm.

I think that it is high time we had a sleepover. Because there is one thing that I have wanted to tell you all since about May and I've never had the opportunity. Maybe it's obvious anyway, but if I don't get it out in person before the end of this year I'll just have to post it on the blog.

Anywhoo.

I had so much fun backstage at the play. Oz taught me to always be involved. I'm used to having small parts, but I didn't realize how fun a small part on stage could be when you have a big part backstage. But this time I'm not even glad it's over! I wanted it to go on for... well, for a long time. I'm sure those who had their whole head sprayed white would disagree with me.

I'm also having lots of fun with this Howl jacket. I love how it's coming together so far!!! :D

Did I mention that Halloween is like my favorite holiday?

I still think you should all read The Bell Jar. Because it's a good book. I want to read it again.

And that is all for my little musing of the evening. Cheers!

DUDE.

2010-10-25T19:48:00.000-04:00

So like. No one is posting besides Hannah, so maybe we should like do that or something. :D

anyway love you guys. <3

After school

2010-10-25T18:00:00.002-04:00

We had auditions for our musical. But this isn't why I'm posting.
There's some confusion among people to why I was super upset, it wasn't about the whole Sebby calling me fat thing, that mainly just annoyed me, the joke was getting old, y'know? What really made me upset was something Aaron said. Oh, you don't know what he said? Well he said this:

"If there were more people like you there would be a shortage of razorblades on earth."

That just made me so upset.
Yes, I know he was kidding, if he meant it that would've made things worse.
But the reason this thing made me so upset is one: No one wants to be told that. And two: I've gotten to much shit for stuff like that. Sometimes people were joking, other times they weren't. And the ones who did mean what they said, one, didn't even say it to my fucking face. And two: I don't even fucking KNOW them! I mean God DAMN.

Yeah, so that's what bummed me out. But he apparently really felt bad about saying that, which is new. He's never felt bad about all the shit he's done before. *sigh*

Well, tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.

-Hannah
xo

(POST, DAMN IT.)

This song

2010-10-24T21:40:00.001-04:00

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

"Thank You" by: Led Zeppelin

So yeah...

2010-10-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

So a lot of you seemed a little confused with my changed relationship status and it's pretty understandable, none of you all have seen me and him hang out or even talk, except Hannah, and she didn't until last night, but anyway, He is my official boyfriend now, and I'm really happy, he's really sweet and we have A LOT in common, he's really funny and he genuinely cares about me. if you want to know any more about it that's cool, like I said I understand. love you guys always. <3

Promised only lies.

2010-10-15T23:06:00.002-04:00

Fuck tonight.
Fuck it.
Fuck it in the ass.
Hard.

I'm never making plans again.
If you guys ever want to hang out with me, you make the plans.
Because when I make them, people end up bailing. And I'm FUCKING tired of it.
And maybe when you make plans. I'll bail out last second. And leave you to cry.
Just like you guys do to me.
I'm just sick of it.

Trash pick up in the morning.
Then something else.
Probably go home.
And do nothing.
As fucking usual.

-Hannah

Fuck it.

Taylor!

2010-10-14T21:53:00.002-04:00

Eugene Oberst competed in the 1924 Summer Olympics in Paris.

At the trials, he had a disappointing meet, placing 5th, but they put him on the team anyway because he did so well in past meets.
At the Olympics, he became the first American to win a medal in the Javelin throw.

Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again!

2010-10-14T21:07:00.003-04:00

Speaking of Streisand (who's known for her cover of Somewhere), here's another pick-me-up that she has sung solo and as a duet with Judy Garland.
Barbra is singing Happy Days Are Here Again.
Judy is singing Get Happy.

Judy
Forget your troubles

Barbra
Happy days

Judy
Come on get happy

Barbra
Are here again

Judy
You better chase all your cares away

Barbra
The skies above are clear again

Judy
Shout Hallelujah

Barbra
So let's sing a song

Judy
Come on get happy

Barbra
Of cheer again

Judy
Get ready for the Judgment Day

Barbra
Happy days are here again

Judy
The sun is shining

Barbra
All together

Judy
Come on get happy

Barbra
Shout it now

Judy
The Lord is waiting to take your hand

Barbra
There's no one who can doubt it now

Judy
Shout Hallelujah

Barbra
So let's tell the world

Judy
And just get happy

Barbra
About it now

Judy
We're going to the Promised Land

Barbra
Happy days are here again

Judy
We're heading cross a river
Soon your cares will all be gone

Barbra
There'll be no more from now on

Both
From now on!

Judy
Forget your troubles

Barbra
Happy days

Judy
And just get happy

Barbra
Are here again

Judy
You better chase all your blues away

Barbra
The skies above are clear again

Judy
Shout Hallelujah

Barbra
So let's sing a song

Judy
And just get happy

Barbra
Of cheer again
Happy times

Judy
Happy times

Barbra
Happy nights

Judy
Happy nights

Both
Happy days are here again..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf53oFb4IKA

2010-10-13T17:49:00.002-04:00

There is one thing that I would sing to any of you as you were dying. It's from West Side Story.

There's a place for us

Somewhere a place for us

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for us somewhere

There's a time for us

Someday a time for us

Time together with time to spare

Time to look, time to care

Someday, somewhere

We'll find a new way of living

We'll find a way of forgiving

Somewhere

There's a place for us

A time and place for us

Hold my hand and we're halfway there

Hold my hand and I'll take you there

Somehow, someday

Somewhere

Today

2010-10-13T17:13:00.003-04:00

God, I have no idea what happened to me today.
I was having a pretty decent day. Then it went downhill from fourth period. I felt awful, I was depressed, I was tired, and I have no idea why! Damn. I'm sorry if I brought any of you down. I tried not to, which is why I kind of just withdrew myself in sixth. I was completely miserable. I just wish I knew why.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Then Friday should be great, even though I'm not going to the dance. I'm going to the BC&T with Re-Ro, then to the game, and then her, Heather and I are going to my house for a sleepover. Fun times.

And tomorrow after school I'm going to Lexington with Candace for dinner. c:
I want tomorrow to be a good day. Let's hope it is.

Every rose has its thorn.
Just like every night has its dawn.
Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.
Every rose has its thorn.

-Hannah

Ps: Post, damn it.

If I died tomorrow, what one thing would you want me to know?

2010-10-11T17:26:00.001-04:00

I wish I had the courage to ask people (other than you guys) this question. :
I really just want to know what people would say.

What. A song from Get Him To The Greek had an affect on my life??

2010-10-10T20:43:00.002-04:00

You bet it did.

Like water through a drain,
I'm spinning down, down, down
Like the needle in my vein,
You're bringing me down, down, down
Like a dog who's gone insane,
You're putting me down, down, down

And those of you who doubted me,
Are going down, down, down
And the record man who never called,
Can you hear what's going on?

I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
And the world ain't gonna catch me going down

Like the food deep in my belly,
I'm going down, down, down
And for twenty bucks in the alley,
I'm going down, down, down
Like the trail beneath your valley
I'm going down, down, down

For my ma, who's always honored me,
I'm going down, down, down
For my pa, who never wanted me,
Can you feel what's going on?

I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
And the world ain't gonna catch me going down

Oh, won't you please believe me,
Oh baby don't you leave me
Why wont you say you need me
Please use them breasts to feed me,
I ain't going down

For my ma, who's always honored me,
I'm going down, down, down
For my pa, who never wanted me,
Can you feel what's going on?

I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
I'm coming up
And the world ain't gonna catch me going down

Of course.

2010-10-10T15:54:00.001-04:00

Dude, check this out;

http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/blog_rating?b_url=phunksisters.blogspot.com

Our blog is rated R.

Are you surprised?

I'm feeling a little nostalgic tonight....

2010-10-09T23:55:00.002-04:00

First off, Taylor, I'll go to homecoming if I can get one thing.
A date.
I'm the only one who hasn't had a date to a dance. (Other than Braden.)
If I can get a date, I'll go.
If not. I'm staying home.

Anyway.
Nostalgia all over the place tonight.
I've been bored, so I started youtubing Adam Lambert's Idol performances.
And hell, some shit from his album.
But then I came across old "Kradam" interviews.
And I cried.
Why did I cry?
Well, because I cry at everything.
But, I cried because I miss their friendship so much. They don't even talk to eachother anymore. It makes me sad. I even read some old fics. I cried even more. Damn. That's really sad, isn't it?
And I've been listening to the music I listened in Middle School.
(Simple Plan, My Chemical Romance, Nickleback, Jonas Brothers.)
It's been a good night for the most part. Other than the really fucking boring part.
But, yeah. My goal for the week. Get a date for Homecoming. If I don't get a date (which I probably won't.) I'm not going.

Mhmm. Yeah. Not changing my mind on this. No date. No dance.

-Hannah
xo

And out my song must pour

2010-10-09T20:48:00.002-04:00

Guess what.

I really really really want to put on Guys & Dolls this year. skjfalskgh

WHEN YOU MEET A GENT

PAYING ALL KINDS OF RENT

FOR A FLAT THAT COULD FLATTEN THE TAJ MAHAL

Yeah anyway.

Set building on Thursday was pretty fun. I "upholstered" my first couch. :D

Then I spent all night talking to Terra. I don't do that enough.

I'm really glad that this coming week is Spirit week, otherwise I would be really dreading school. But since I get to wear a costume 3 days out of 5, and the dance is on Friday, I'm excited!

Braden, I'm sorry for moping around at your party. I should've gone home, I hope it didn't bother you. I know I hate it when people mope around at my parties.

Hannah! Go to the dance! If you just forget about everything and dance, dance to everything and anything, it's dark and nobody cares how ridiculous they may or may not look, and you can just let go... I didn't figure that out until the back to school dance. Besides, getting ready is half the fun. Therefore.... you should come. :)

Heather, you don't know how glad I am that you're being reasonable about Madelyn and Sebastian. Thank you.

The Homecoming Dance.

2010-10-09T18:54:00.002-04:00

I don't think I'm going to go.
Yeah, I know. It sucks.
But, really, what reason do I have to go for?
A good time? Hang out with friends?
Yeah, okay.
Hang out with friends, sure.
But a good time? Haha, no. I never have a good time at dances. There's always something that gets me upset, whether it's no one wants to dance with me, or "Oh, God. THIS song?!" And that either means, they're playing horrible music, OR they're playing a song that makes me upset.
So yeah, I'm not going.
I hope you guys have a good time on Friday.
I love you all.

-Hannah
xo

This song will always be relevant.

2010-10-08T22:29:00.002-04:00

Spread Your Wings

Artist: Queen

Album: News of the World

Sammy was low
Just watching the show
Over and over again
Knew it was time
He'd made up his mind
To leave his dead life behind
His boss said to him
'Boy you'd better begin
To get those crazy notions right out of your head
Sammy who do you think that you are?
You should've been sweeping up the Emerald bar'

Spread your wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Pull yourself together
'Cos you know you should do better
That's because you're a free man

He spends his evenings alone in his hotel room
Keeping his thoughts to himself he'd be leaving soon
Wishing he was miles and miles away
Nothing in this world nothing would make him stay

Since he was small
Had no luck at all
Nothing came easy to him
Now it was time
He'd made up his mind
'This could be my last chance'

His boss said to him 'now listen boy
You're always dreaming
You've got no real ambition you won't get very far
Sammy boy don't you know who you are?
Why can't you be happy at the Emerald bar?'

So honey
Spread your wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Pull yourself together
'Cos you know you should do better
That's because you're a free man
Come on honey
Fly with me.

You guys will never understand what this song means to me.

I love it so much.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was my favorite song of all time.

I've never really felt any kind of freedom.

But when I listen to this song.

I feel lighter than air.

Like, maybe, there's something I actually have to live for out there.

I just need to find it.

And when I do find it...

Hell, I can easily say that will be the greatest day of my life.

-Hannah

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-07T00:09:00.001-04:00

TO ME!
First of the Phunk to turn 17!
WHOO!

cough cough

2010-10-06T14:42:00.002-04:00

Yeah......ummmm......I'm still single and I'm almost 17......and it's not exactly easy for me to find a guy either....while living in Berea.....unless I'm crazy and go for a college student or somebody who doesn't live in town (and I wouldn't see them a whole lot).
The closest I've been was talking to a guy who lives in Lexington (Adam) and we planned to meet at the mall, but we never got the chance to really meet. I did see him once before we actually started talking. This was around when David was in school, and I told Adam I still liked David, so we never talked since then.
But I've talked to guys before. They either don't live in town, or are in college, and I wouldn't want a college guy until I'm in college anyway, so yeah.
I've never really had that in-person kind of talking, so your chances were greater than mine.
Just saying.
I'm giving you a hug when I see you next because I love you. :D

When is it gonna be MY turn?

2010-10-05T23:49:00.002-04:00

It's official. Every girl friend I have has had a boyfriend. (Yes, even Kaylyn. She just says it shouldn't count.)
And I'm very happy that all my friends are happy, believe me.
But I think I deserve someone. I've waited long enough. 16 years. You guys had Bf's at like 14. I'm sixteen and a god damned junior in high school. And I'm tired of being alone. Fuck. Why don't any of the guys I like, like me back!? IT'S NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR.
I'm tired of being alone. I want someone to hold. I want someone to love. I want someone who I know is going to be there when I need someone to text at 2 in the morning. I want Someone.
And almost anyone who's willing to be with me at this point I would take them. But it's apparently not that simple. Though it seems to be that way for a lot of people. Why can't I be one of those girls that every guy wants? Instead I'm the girl that tends to repel guys. They just see her as a dork that isn't worth the time. Or a fucking toy for their own god damn amusment.

And then the one guy. The one guy, who saw past my dorkiness, and my immaturity and saw a girl worth something, someone beautiful, even though I couldn't see the girl he was talking about. And we were almost something, but then we just pissed eachother off, and he moved on. Moved on without me. So here I stand.

I just want someone.
Anyone.
Someone that will sweep me off my feet.
Someone that will hold me.
And tell me I'm beautiful.
Even though I don't believe I am.
That's all anyone wants.
And you all have had it.
I haven't.
And it all I wish for.
Pray for, even.

You guys are probabaly rolling your eyes and thinking "Oh she's in one of these moods again."
But, oh well.
I've cried for the past hour because of this shit.
You know how pathetic that is?
It's awful.
I'm done now.
Goodnight.
Maybe I won't wake up in the morning.
Maybe I'll stay asleep forever.
Eternal sleep.
That sounds great right about now.

-Hannah.

Birthday party!

2010-10-04T22:39:00.001-04:00

Now it's my turn to have a party.
The only date I could have it this week is on Friday, most likely 1 to 5, at Memorial Park.
I'll be turning 17, so we'll have a playground at my party because it'll be my last year as a legal child.
WHEE! A child who can legally watch R rated movies at the theater!
Pfffff!
I started watching those since I was like........ten or whenever.
Anywho!
Please come!
Details on Facebook!

Fall Breakkkkk!

2010-10-04T14:06:00.001-04:00

Fall Break is gonna kick ass this year.

Haha, jk.

It's gonna be boring as fuck. Until Wednesday that is. I get to hang out with Laura. And possibly Meghan. :)

ALSO.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH GET HIM TO THE GREEK. IT'S AMAZING. AND HILARIOUS AND IT HAS LARS ULRICH. FOR A TOTAL OF MAYBE SEVEN MINUTES.

Mhmm. Yeah. Fall Break 2010. Boring as fuck.

Just this.

2010-09-29T21:30:00.002-04:00

Life, it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Can't stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye.